How To Have The Lousiest Birthday Vacation Ever


1. Don’t travel to some beautiful exotic location in the Caribbean with your girls; especially not the warm friendly island of Tobago.

tobago beach
2. Don’t book your stay at a beachfront resort like Magdalena Grand Resort where every room has a view of the bay.

magdelena bay resort
3. Whatever you do, avoid getting up to watch the sunrise. Nature is for suckers, right?

tobago sunrise
4. Put the thought of going on a hike through the rainforest completely out of your mind.

tobago rainforest

And don’t even think about looking for rare hummingbirds with Junior Thomas, one of the most knowledgeable guides on the island.

5. Lunch at Jemma’s Seaside View Treehouse is out of the question and don’t you dare order the breadfruit pie. No! Just, no!

jemma's seaside view treehouse
6. Absolutely no swimming in waterfalls.  All the nopes!

waterfall tobago
7. To guarantee a super lousy birthday vacation, don’t take a chartered boat out for a morning of snorkeling on your birthday.

tobago snorkel

And make sure you avoid the crystal clear Nylon Pool at all cost.

Nylon Pool Tobago
8. An afternoon of relaxing and toasting to your birthday with free drinks from complete strangers at Pigeon Point Beach is not recommended to make sure your birthday really sucks.

pigeon point
9. If you really want a horrible birthday, do not spend your birthday evening being picked up at the beach by boat and catered to by your boat captain and his family from Buccoo Village at a beachside birthday barbecue at No Man’s Land beach.  Trust me…it will seriously make you way too happy dancing until the sun sets. So happy in fact that you won’t have decent pictures to share on the interwebs.  Why? Well because you don’t need to see everything, nosy! Ok really because rum….lots of rum.

birthday vacation tobago
10. And you most certainly shouldn’t let them sing happy birthday to you floating along in a boat on the Caribbean Sea under a full moon eating chocolate brownies with your hands. Yeah…no pictures of that either.

*Bonus*: If someone offers you a fish basket of the freshest, breaded mahi mahi filets from the local late night snack spot, refuse it! Just say no to awesome fish and chips.

mahi mahi fish and chips
There, I’ve saved you. This was how I spent my 34th birthday in February this year and it was one of the most memorable birthdays ever! Now you know exactly what not to do to ensure you have the lousiest birthday vacation ever. You’re welcome.

Lauren G. , Outdoorsy Diva™
“Adventure is a lifestyle.”


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  • Reply
    May 14, 2015 at 9:59 am

    THIS POST! You are beyond adorable. And I am beyond jealous. How can a girl come in your suitcase??! 😉

    • Reply
      May 14, 2015 at 10:01 am

      LOL Thanks Lora. I’m glad you liked it. I thought I would challenge myself. I’ve seen this style on buzzfeed and I think they are hilarious.

  • Reply
    May 14, 2015 at 10:30 am

    lol too funny! I’ll be in Tobago next week. I’ll make sure NOT to do any of these. 😉 BLMGirl

    • Reply
      May 14, 2015 at 10:36 am

      Thanks for reading JoAnna. I will see if I can find the name of the late night spot with the fish…in case you decide to ignore my advice.

  • Reply
    May 14, 2015 at 5:26 pm

    love this! Here’s hoping it gets picked up by buzzfeed!!

    • Reply
      May 14, 2015 at 6:20 pm

      That would be nifty indeed.

  • Reply
    May 14, 2015 at 10:31 pm

    I wanna go and do all those things!!

    • Reply
      May 14, 2015 at 10:35 pm

      Alex I hope you get the chance. It’s really a beautiful and underrated place.

  • Reply
    Run DMT
    May 21, 2015 at 5:39 pm

    You have lost it. LOL This post is so creative and has BuzzFeed all over it! Submit it NOW!

    • Reply
      May 22, 2015 at 1:48 pm

      I’m glad you enjoyed it Denise.

  • Reply
    May 27, 2015 at 10:34 am

    funny!! What an amazing way to spend a birthday!!

    • Reply
      May 27, 2015 at 11:18 am

      Thanks for reading Nadeen. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

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