Broken hearts suck. We’ve all been there at least once and everyone’s coping mechanisms are different.
Some people eat their feelings, others go on the hunt for the rebound action, some run to Bali doing a reenactment of “Eat, Pray,Love”, and then there’s the Rob Kardashian way.
If you missed it, the Internet was all a buzz yesterday as Rob Kardashian took to Instagram as his personal therapist couch. He aired all of him and Blac Chyna’s dirty laundry, dirty dishes, dirty basement, the dirty attic. Everything. He was just spilling tea from coast to coast.
Even T.I. got dragged into the mix for providing his unsolicited advice and Uncle Snoop weighed in to tell Rob to to stop being a sucker and go get a new woman and let this go.
When Instagram shut him down for posting inappropriate pictures of Chyna he took to Twitter to continue his social media pity party.
It was sad and downright pitiful. If it weren’t for the fact that Ray Charles could see this train wreck coming I would have almost felt bad for the guy.
Po’ lil tink tink.
Clearly Rob has no friends. None. Nada. Friend deficient. He should put out an ad for a friend whose sole job is to snatch his phone and drop it in the toilet the next time he has the urge to do something reckless like this.
He clearly consulted no one before committing one of the most epic social media rants of all time.
But this isn’t the way Rob. It’s just not the way. I’ve been a jilted lover before so I get it, but there are much better ways to deal with heartache than airing your dirty laundry across the interwebs.
I’m here to help. Here are 5 healthier ways to cope with heartbreak than a Rob Kardashian social media pity party.
5. Go Glamping/Camping
Glamping allows you to be outdoorsy and reconnect with nature but still have the amenities and comforts of home and luxury if that’s what you prefer. You can experience nature and solitude in comfort.
You could find a waterfall to mesmerize you or just sit listening to the birds. Yoga and meditation on the beach with the crashing waves works wonders for the psyche and your mood.
Go find your center and get some zen in your life.
4. Spa Weekend
I know spa days is something that may seem to appeal more to women but men enjoy spas too. Rob you could go get some hot stones and body wraps and everything.
A great masseuse could definitely help rub some of this bitterness out of your tissues because clearly your bitterness cup runneth over.
3. Mission Trip/Volunteer
Seriously, bruh these are rich people problems. If you think getting played is like the worst thing to happen to you, I strongly urge you to channel this energy into helping somebody else less fortunate.
I promise you that spending time with people who are worried about having clean water and their next meal will put your life in perspective and getting played by a stripper (all be it a mastermind stripper) won’t feel quite so humiliating.
2. Go to Disney World
Disney World is the happiest place on earth. Go be a kid again and forget about the problems of adulting for just a little while. You can’t be a Bitter Betty at Disney World even if you tried. There’s new Pandora World of Avatar to explore at Animal Kingdom and the new light show at Magic Kingdom.
1. Take an Epic Trip
There’s a popular phrase right now in the travel community that Rob should certainly heed. “Catch flights not feelings” is the mantra right now.
Rob if you had $100k to spend on Chyna’s surgeries as you claim you did then you can damn sure buy you a plane ticket and go be great somewhere.
There’s so much world out there and I know you’re a Kardashian and all and you’ve probably traveled quite a bit but I’m sure there’s still places you have yet to experience.
Go somewhere epic and turn off your damn phone for a while. I promise you will feel better.
Travel is my therapy! I took a trip to the Azores islands to deal with a highly emotionally charged break up. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Maybe Sir Richard Branson will take pity on you and invite you to his island. You need to get the hell outta here and go pull it together man.
Whatever you do Rob, I just hope one of your friends takes away your phone for a while because you have done the most to last you for several lifetimes. Your petty quota is met for the decade.
We had a good laugh at Rob’s expense, but take my advice people. Don’t be a Rob Kardashian. Turn your heartbreak into your next adventure!
This post contains affiliate links. Full disclosure.